caraknightley:

mini m&ms taste better than normal m&ms don’t even try to argue with me on this

oh-deir:

ACTUAL MESSAGE OF (500) DAYS OF SUMMER THAT NO ONE ACTUALLY REALIZES

Oh hey followers just letting you know that I’m in Canada for a little over a week so I’m gonna be MIA for a while here don’t miss me too much ;)

(Source: estellegettys)

wartortles:

sir please leave the caption writing for people who are actually funny

galehawthorne:

sometimes i go on blogs i hate to make sure i hate them

(Source: everettchristopher)

(Source: scapparecomeunconiglio)

turtwink:

sext: he’ll yeah

princesshoff:

i just had a dream that macklemore was at my house and he told me that he’d spent all the money he made from Thrift Shop and couldn’t buy food and i said “aw do you need some snacklemore” and he punched me in the face

twitterthecomic:

“tell… my wife… i loved her…” carl dies. NOO! U LOVED HER WHAT?! *shakes body* U LOVED HER… TITYS? HER CAT? *slaps face* PLS WAKE UP

— TORNMIAY PIACKLLEAAS (@Tommy_Pickles69) November 14, 2012

twitterthecomic:

*knocks on door* Mrs Smith? I’m from Army. Your son got owned in Iraq. He showed great valor in the face of epic fail. Semper fi or whatecer

— Jackson (@tree_bro) July 22, 2011

twitterthecomic:

oh, great, i fell into a sarchasm. noo, i’m just FINE, and my bones aren’t broken at ALL, having SUCH a good time down here

— posh(@posh) November 3, 2011

twitterthecomic:

“I’m the only cop on the force who can play the bassoon dammit” “Not anymore” New cop in sunglasses walks in, just killing it on the bassoon

September 30, 2012

twitterthecomic:

YO!!! *yells at a bug* YO YOUR CUTE DONT LISTEN TO THE HATERS

— Chelseaberry ＧＲＩＮＮ (@WeedCoffin) January 25, 2013